I need to vent: Senior Sports Nights | 2Peas Refugees (2024)

At my kids' high school, senior players are recognized at the last home game. Typically walk the kids out with the parents, moms get flowers, the place is decorated with balloons and banners.

But every team adds their own twists to it. It is becoming a monster.

My daughter played field hockey - with tradition, we ordered banners, and the team collected money for the coach and the senior girls. We brought in CFA after the game and had a little ceremony (but this was during covid, so it was much, much stripped down, outside and in March, where usually the girls played in the fall).

My son is a junior on the soccer team. I was sitting with 2 other moms, looking at the calendar a couple of weeks ago and go OMG Senior night is Oct 13! The moms and I were like we need to start planning! (it was three weeks when we realized the date).

Boys soccer is a different animal, or maybe it's bc of covid, things have gotten super complicated. The boys are apparently presented frames with a team pic and individual pic with the flowers, they get a banner that is hung up, they had CFA brought in after the game (senior boys aren't supposed to pay for that apparently) and then a gift/gift cards as well as coach's gifts. There is confusion about what the school pays for and what the kids/parents pay for. It just seems like a lot. I asked one of the senior moms, what did they do? She had a spreadsheet, so she sent it to me, and I just start following it. I take pictures of the boys for the banners and the frames last week. One mom orders the frames, another orders insulated cups for the boys and coaches.

So I email the coach for a list of players. He tells me the school has gone to a new email format - he can't give me a list of emails bc he doesn't have one. He sends it out through some sort of messaging system. Advises me to contact the athletic director, who is usually at our games. The next week, he's no where to be found at the games.I email him and he never replies. I finally see a mom whose son is on JV and works at the school and ask her if she can help. She talks to the AD and he tells me he can't give me a list - I have to send him an email and he'll send it out on my behalf. He finally sends it out this morning.

I've already had one junior mom bitch that could I please send out an email to JUST THE JUNIOR FAMILIES so they could all be involved. I responded that I am not working off a list, so this is what I was told to do and by the way, it's just about a week away. No good deed goes unpunished!
Kicking myself for opening my mouth. I knew it would fall on the person who said something!

From my Canadian perspective, this seems really over-the-top (& expensive).

I often wonder why Senior Year at high school is such a BIG DEAL. Is it because many don't go onto college or university as may has happened in the past? OR is this simply a *tradition* that keeps exploding every year?

I understand recognition but this seems truly a beast out-of-control.

Good luck, and yes, no good deed goes unpunished.

I have a senior this year and one that graduated a few years ago. They play baseball and football. Both sports are pretty low key. Parents and kids are announced on the field. For football they have the kids record something thanking their parents for all they have done and play that as we are walking. No flowers. Someone takes pics of each family. Baseball was the same minus the recording. I think they did announce what the student was doing after high school. We had a post game meal that was planned by parents (but we also do this for all home football games). That's it. I think that is enough.

ETA that I don't think senior recognition has anything to do with people going to college or not. It is a tradition, and it also is a point where kids go off on their own and become independent from their parents. I think all of the things throughout the year celebrate their success through the years, but are also a kind of send off into the "real world." It's also hard for parents and I think it helps to prepare us for that.

I can also say that the parents on my youngest son's baseball team (10u)are a little over the top with their support as well. Someone made cups for all of the moms that were decorated with "baseball mom" and the kids number. When we went to tournaments a mom made goodie bags for all of the kids, and also a gift for dads on fathers day. At the end of the year one parent made a small photo book for each player. It was really nice, and if people like to do that, it's great. But I don't think that is expected. That being said, I wonder what it will be like when they are seniors!

I often wonder if the parent(s) ever thinks about how the sports playing kid feels as well as any siblings.

Kids need to be kids. When your whole world is sports and it suddenly stops - because of Covid or being hurt or graduation - these kids realize they have no other outlet, no other hobby or passion and then they get depressed. And they don't know how to relax.

It's a vicious cycle.

I don’t think after HS kids are off on their own and become independent. Perhaps years ago. No kid with just a hs degree can afford rent, food, car, phone etc.

OMG I totally agree. When I was in HS I played Volleyball. I attended a camp the summer before to figure out the game (and this was before that labredo? player was added) and then "tried out" and played. It was more of a social thing for me. Now, its like if your kid hasn't played the sport since they were 4, forget it. And there are cuts which is a real shame, but what happened to the kids who just wanted to try something new they never got a chance to try?

Two of the moms (the ones that bought frames and cups) said they aren't worried about getting reimbursed, BUT I said that was not fair, what happens next year - moms will either feel pressure to do at least what was done prior or they can't afford it and get stuck with a bill they can't afford. So I am collecting money, and I will pay those moms back first, and whatever is left, spend on the boys and coaches gifts. Hell those things ARE gifts, and plenty IMO!!!!

I think this is how the banner/poster thing got started. I'm sure some kid didn't get one so someone took matters into their own hands and now it's a printed banner from a printing company. Then the frames. Some teams do a big picture and sign it for the senior, but its one picture per senior. But all that adds up - banners are $20-$30 (depending on how many, and this year, my son's team has 8 seniors, last year it was 12).

What is crazy is the fall sports awards night is after all the sports completed their season. For us, its usually in November, after football is finished (or I guess any team that goes to their conference). This event seems to have been scaled down quite a bit due to COVID, BUT I also wonder if it is scaled down bc Senior night takes care of the senior recognition per team.

We have a very large vinyl poster/sign thing with my son's photo on it from his senior year of high school. All the seniors had these banners and they hung on the fence for their senior season before being presented to each player at senior night.

My son is now 21. We've moved that banner from one house to another, one closet to another, and keep just folding it up and stuffing it back in a corner of the top shelf every time we declutter and reorganize his closet. We've joked that when he finally buys a home, it can hang over his fireplace! Seriously, what are we supposed to DO with it?

LMAO. I feel this in the depths of my soul!

We have a sports themed kind of basem*nt, so my husband hung up my daughter's down there. We don't have one for my son yet!

This. My dd is 20 and lives in Florida. Did not take her GIANT sized picture poster with her. While it's a beautiful picture it just doesn't look right hanging on our wall. And she's is college now. Has moved on.

What she remembers the most about her senior night - her grandfather died that morning and her best friend wasn't there to participate in senior night because he was sick. So she was doubly sad.

We had pizza and cake for the kids. They got escorted by two juniors (of their choice) down the field. We gave her flowers when she met us at the end of the field where we got our family picture taken. They got a goodie bag with junkie fun 2020 stuff (light up glasses, noise makers, etc). And they had a great time.

I think it is really hard when one year sets a standard that is hard to continue. Nothing wrong with scaling back even though there will always be those who complain about the "lightened" festivities despite them contributing nothing. (Why is it the loudest and most obnoxious complainers are usually the ones who do nothing and are involved the least?)

Another angle that might get buy in from parents and kids to cut down on gifts and such... the environment! I have a friend who is SUPER involved in her kids' stuff and she goes WAY overboard at the end of season celebrations. Personalized shirts/cups/bags, stickers, jewelry, etc. on top of whatever the sport organization gave out. She coached six seasons of various teams for my daughter and we had so much stuff that we couldn't really do anything with them because they were all personalized and/or she outgrew them. It got to the point that I was kind of disgusted at the ecological impact and stopped making personalized crafts for my side gig because I saw the waste it made for one child, let alone 20 or more on this singular team, and then think about all the teams beyond the ones my kids are on.

I think you missed the point. ETA even if they can’t “live on their own” completely they are still on to new things and graduation is the end of one part of life.

I honestly don’t think they should get reimbursed if they went out and bought these things on their own without the agreement of the other parents. Who needs another mug? Why should another parent have to pay for an overpriced mugged they didn’t ask for? Lord knows I get excited when One of my mugs breaks and I have one less cluttering my cabinets! And it sets up another tradition.

This is similar to here. They are just announced on the court or field. Usually the parents have a balloon or a bag of candy. The rest of the team usually gives them a shirt that they have all signed.

This is very true. It was kind of a knee jerk reaction bc 1. we realized we were short on time and 2. we weren't given a roster to ask all the parents what they would like to do. I just figured we'd do what was laid out from the year before. I just had no idea it was so much. I was one of the parents who just chipped in money!

So now, we will just collect money, and pay for the things that we "had" to do (ie banners and frames and cups) and then whatever is left is what we will spend. If kids don't get gift cards and all sorts of candy and crap, oh well. I doubt they will complain, although the parents might.

Oh I feel this too! The boys also have dinner provided before home games (which we also paid for). At least the coach arranged for that. It all just becomes way too much.

I did not read all of the responses but wanted to share a quick story. I was allowed on the sidelines for football games for a few years. I took pictures of all the players and shared them (watermarked) for all to see. We hosted exchange students that often played sports. One year they had the idea to get a framed pictures for each senior as a gift. They asked me for pictures and I gladly shared one of each Senior. The night of the event I was asked for $10 for the picture and frame. Now, this is my picture (I did not charge them for) and a dollar store frame, no way this was $10 and it was MY picture. I was a little taken aback that I was asked for the money for a gift for my Senior to begin with, but to pay for something I already had was a bit much. I paid it and did not say anything. I was not going to be that parent. Overall, it was not a huge deal, and we just kind of laugh at it now.

This seems over the top. Why is it done in Oct? Shouldn’t recognition be at end of year? And I think parents need to stop being recognized. If parents weren’t recognized maybe there would be less hoopla.

My dd is a senior. She does extra curricular dance. At the last recital of the year she will receive flowers and the studio will play a 5 min video dedicated to her years at the studio, this is her 12th year. In any year there are maybe 3-7 seniors. Parents get no recognition.

At school, the kids who do sports don’t get any special recognition except maybe gr 12 awards. I am aware that the US schools go over the top for school sports.

I’m sorry your planning isn’t going easily. Hope it all gets done.

Only one of my kids made it to playing as a senior (oldest quit tennis at the end of junior year because she knew she wasn't going to make the Varsity team, middle quit soccer at the beginning of junior year because of bullying and too much politics--he was actually very talented but because he didn't play on the preferred club team they held him back).

Youngest kid played soccer and our senior night consisted of some of the above with the walking out with parents and giving mom (me) a small thing of flowers. The girls also got a fairly big frame that had the team picture and a bunch of candids of that player that one of our parents took during the year and a kind of cute necklace that my kid never even took out of the box. We were not asked to contribute to any of it (including when she was a junior), pretty sure it was paid for through the Booster Club which fundraiser all year to pay for things like this. The entire team was asked if they'd like to donate to the coaches gifts as well as something for the team parent.

I'm always conflicted on things like this. On one hand, it's nice for the players to get recognized for sticking with it, but on the other, it's hard for players who put in the time but don't make it to senior year for whatever reason (at the tennis banquet junior year oldest was told they couldn't show any JV pictures in the slideshow that it was only for Varsity which made her feel horrible because she knew she was never making Varsity).

Youngest kid played 3 years of college soccer before deciding she'd had enough and interestingly their senior night seemed pretty low key compared to the high school. They just announced the players and after the game had the parents come on the field for a few pictures. Don't think they gave them any senior gifts. Girls could buy a Varsity letterman's jacket if they chose.

The last home game of the soccer season will be on Oct 13, that's how the day gets picked. However, the season will go on until early November, when most playoff games are held - I think if the team makes it to finals, the last day of the season would fall mid-November.

The end of season sports banquet is for ALL fall sports - they showcase athletes who may have been signed on to play in college, or gotten special awards, etc.

Now that I think about it, I guess the flowers are for the player, but that seems so odd to me - why do boys want flowers? I guess that's why I thought it was for the parents, as a thank you for supporting your child.

Honestly it seems like this is who it's for. All *their* hard work keeping their kid in the sport - private lessons, traveling, off season club, money, etc.

I have a feeling if someone asked the kids, they'd just want something low key.

Senior Night at our school is pretty low key yet very much about the student, not the parents. For the bigger sports (football/marching band/cheerleading, volleyball, basketball, soccer, baseball and softball) it's the seniors being announced, walking a short distance with parents (or not, sometimes it's a coach/friend because the parent couldn't be there) while the announcer has a short bio to read (any activities during HS, future plans, favorite memories, and maybe words of wisdom or advice.) I think the parents get a flower. In the last couple of years the seniors have also gotten a poster with their sport photo & name on it. Those hang up in a hallway for most of the year and can be taken home at the end of the year--they can't be hung outside for outdoor sports because they aren't vinyl.

Just today I got included in an email reminding my son that he still needs to fill out his football and band form for senior night in a couple of weeks with an added note that "she will be very sad if you don't get this done..." The AD's secretary knows how involved I am as the leader of the football meals--I half-jokingly almost replied back asking if I should fill one out too after four years of involvement!

Side Note--I do wish Senior Night was not always the last home game. In 2020 we knew it was likely that we'd only have one football game (because of a pissing match between the governor and the superintendent over online vs in person schooling...) so we had Senior Night during that first (and only) game. It was awesome having it in late August instead of late October, especially since in 2019 it was freakin' freezing cold on Senior Night.